iLick A Swing Set
by mystlyx
Summary: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set? No, I said Sam don't lick the swing set and then you said Don't tell me what to do, Benson and then you licked the swing set! So how did Sam end up licking that swing set?


Disclaimer: At this point I unfortunately do not own iCarly. Yet.

**iLick A Swing Set  
**

The playground in the southwest corner of the park is filled with children climbing on the jungle gyms, swinging on the swing set, sliding down the slides, and running all around.

Spencer Shay is sitting on a park bench, watching Sam chase Carly up a ladder and across a bridge, when Mrs. Benson arrives and sits down next to him.

Spencer can barely hide his shock. "Mrs. Benson? What are you doing here?"

Mrs. Benson doesn't even spare him a glance. Her eyes are trained on Freddie who is running to meet the two girls on the jungle gym. Without removing her eyes from her son, she says, "Freddie begged and begged, so I decided to let him come just once, to show him how dirty it is here, and how people behave, so he'll get scared off and not want to come back."

Spencer stares at Mrs. Benson with his mouth hanging open. "But... but... why would you want to do that? Carly loves it here! All kids do! You should really bring Freddie more often."

Mrs. Benson turns to him with a slightly crazed expression. "Spencer, do you know how many children there are running around in this playground? Do you know how many different kinds of germs are living on their dirty hands ? And they're playing with my Freddie! Oh, we shouldn't have come, oh no, oh no, Freddie is going to catch mono or meningitis..."

Spencer continues to stare at Mrs. Benson blankly for the next couple of minutes as she rambles on about all the diseases Freddie is going to catch.

On the other side of the playground, Carly, Sam, and Freddie have gone over to the swing sets and find most of them occupied. There is one single empty swing, and the three of them race towards it. By some miracle, Freddie gets there first, and starts to sit down on it, but then he catches sight of Carly's sad expression and jumps up, holding out the swing to her.

"Here, Carly," he says with a sweet smile, "you can go first."

"Thanks, Freddie!" Carly squeals in delight and jumps onto the swing.

"Do you want me to push you?" Freddie offers shyly.

Carly nods enthusiastically.

Sam watches this exchange with a disgusted expression on her face, then turns to the boy sitting in the swing next to Carly's.

"Move."

"No! I was here first. You have to wait your turn!" the boy yells.

Sam narrows her eyes at him. "Too bad. Your turn is over. Get up!" She makes a grab for the swing and when the boy refuses to budge, she pushes him off into the dirt.

The boy pulls himself back up, brushes the dirt off his pants, and turns to face Sam, his eyes narrowed threateningly. He is a lot bigger than anyone realized standing up, but Sam is, as always, fearless. She stands her ground as the boy lunges for her. And just before the boy's fist can connect with her nose, Freddie pulls her out of the way.

Sam glares at Freddie and pushes him away. "Leave me alone, Benson! I don't need your help!"

Before she can say anything else, the boy takes another shot at her, and she ends up on the ground with her face in the dirt right next to one of the bars of the swing set.

The boy laughs mockingly. "What are you doing down there? Trying to lick the swing set?"

Sam sits up, ignoring her bloody lip, and coldly looks the boy straight in the eye.

Freddie immediately senses the danger and reaches for Sam's arm again. "No! Don't, Sam, don't lick the swing set!"

By now, most of the other children have gathered around them curiously, and a couple of the parents are frowning worriedly from the sidelines, wondering if they should intervene.

Sam shoots Freddie a nasty look. "Don't tell me what to do, Benson!"

Then she does the inevitable.

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A/N: Ok, so this has a _very_ weak ending, the title is _eh_, and the rest I still don't like too much. It's just OK, I guess. It was niggling in the back of my brain for a really long time and I just wanted to get it posted already... Bad idea...  
Constructive criticism appreciated!


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